So, a few weeks ago my husband got a call from his mother to let him (us) know that his brother’s wife, my SIL had decided to “leave.” She had a one way plane ticket to her home state with no plans on returning because she’s “not happy.” The next day, the story had lessened in severity – and instead she was really just homesick and would be back in 2 weeks. She only took one bag and left the rest of her belongings. That time period has now come and gone, and she has now indicated again she doesn’t plan on coming back. They are both in their early 20′s, and married young. I understand that she might be confused about where her life is heading etc. The brother has yet to mention anything to my husband about the situation. Other than seeing her social media posts indicating her present location, she has not indicated to us that she might be gone permanently. I don’t know her very well, but we get along. I’ve been married less than a year and they lived far away from us for the duration of our dating relationship and have only recently moved closer to us where we’ve been able to start spending some time together. But, I do like her and hate that they’re experiencing any trouble. I still don’t know what happened between them, if anything, to make her go – or if it’s her new situation in the new town and it doesn’t really have anything to do with her relationship.
I want to reach out to her, but I don’t know how to do that without looking like we’ve been talking about her behind her back. Or to say something to her that might make the situation worse. Is there any way to send her a message to know I’m thinking about her and I’m available if she wants to talk, without causing any problems. I don’t want to say – “hey, how’s it going?” or “how has your trip been?” because I don’t want to seem totally ignorant. I don’t know what she thinks we know. But at the same time, I want to open the doors of communication and let her know I’m here for her – if she is just homesick and lonely, I feel bad for not being a better friend to her. We text occasionally – but we were on vacation for most of the time she’s been gone. I just don’t know what to say now, if anything. Should I wait until my BIL tells my husband something? Could I say something like “I’ve been thinking about you lately, I hope you’re doing ok?” and see how she responds? Or should I stay out of it, and not message her at all because it’s really not my business.
